Principles and Practices of the Regular Baptists

Chapter XII: The Nature Of The Call

We do not believe that God in an audible voice speaks to men in regard to this matter, but as mentioned in Exodus 35:21: "And they came, every one whose heart stirred him up, and every one whom his Spirit made willing," etc. The heart is "stirred up;" he is made "willing;" made to feel the great importance of the work. He reflects on the needy condition of the churches, the riches of the gospel, and sees humble inquirers after a Savior’s love; he desires to comfort them. He feels an increased interest in the Bible; reads it, anxious to know its meaning. But with all this he feels unable to fill the place of a minister; groans under a sense of unworthiness. So much imperfection about himself, and the cause is so precious that he trembles at the thought of engaging in so sacred a work. He resolves to obey God in this matter, and again he decides not to obey; experiencing sorrow and joy, alternately, as he resolves to obey and again to disobey. He weeps and groans over the subject. Sometimes he longs to know what is duty, and prays to know what it is; passes sleepless nights, full of inquiry as to what is duty. His concern of mind is seen by the church, which soon discovers that the Lord is preparing a gift for them.

The church rejoices that God is leading one to serve them. They urge him to take part in service, which he reluctantly and tremblingly does. In his performance he manifests tenderness, and zeal, and love to God and his cause. He feeds the church; the weak ones are comforted; hungry, thirsty souls are interested in his remarks; mourners are entertained by him, and regret to see him conclude his remarks. Often he feels a great relief of mind when he has tried to speak or offer prayer; at other times he is filled with remorse at his own failures; fears he has injured the cause, and perhaps resolves to try no more.

But still the word of the Lord is like fire locked up in his bones, seeking to find utterance, and he mentally exclaims: "Woe is me if I preach not the gospel of Christ." Thus he is exercised until he is convinced that he can not be happy unless he takes this cross and performs his duty the best he can. He realizes that he is a sinful man through life. He feels pride and sin working within him. He sees more corruption in himself than he sees in any other creature on earth. He loves and glories in the doctrine of grace, because he knows that alone will save him. Paul’s words, "to save sinners, of whom I am chief," and "unto me who am less than the least of all saints," are fully understood by him. He is led in humility to the feet of his brethren to be to them an humble, faithful, steadfast servant. He feels that he is debtor to the people, so that with all his might he is ready to preach the gospel to them. - Rom. 1:13. He is allied in heart to the interests of the churches, so that he rejoices at their prosperity and weeps over their adversity. It is not his financial interest that causes him to go into this service, but he leaves his own pursuits of life, and wife and children, and unnaturally gives his time and mind to the interests of the church. A ruling power within him urges him to duty despite the claims of worldly interests. God only knows the feelings of his heart. As the milk kine that were tied to the cart, they go "lowing," or thinking of home. When one is thus sent, he has a message when he comes to us. He is not a self or time server, but he feeds the flock over which he is made overseer; his actions, looks, and walk all prove him to be deeply interested in the church's welfare. Thus, I believe the Lord prepares men to serve him as ministers.

Mr. Firth (Wm. Tyndale's son in the gospel), while in prison, with one hand chained, writing in reply to Sir Thomas Moore, said: "I assure you I neither will nor can cease to speak, for the Word of God boileth in my body like a fervent fire, and will needs have an issue, and breaketh out when occasion is given."

Never till life's end shall I forget the circumstances that led me first to try to exercise in public. My wife and I were both received into the church the same day. When I was baptized I was indescribably happy; I felt sure that I was in the path of duty, and was truly following the Savior. As my wife was raised from the water she clasped her hands, and in a few words praised the Lord. Her face was glowing with love, and I felt sure her service was sincere. I never shall be happier this side of heaven than I was there as I walked out of the water. I looked at the congregation on the bank weeping for joy, and some of them shouting the praise of the Lord. I felt an impression vividly and forcibly made on my mind that I would have to serve this people as a minister. I have never forgotten this impression. It was some weeks that I was free from trouble of every kind; not a doubt about my acceptance with God, and I enjoyed a full assurance of pardon and the joys of pardoned sin; but this scene of joy was interrupted by a return of the impressions above referred to. I began to feel that this was an immediate duty, and though I deeply felt it a duty, yet I was wholly opposed to it. I saw that it would overthrow all my previous plans of life. I had desired to amass a good share of this world's goods, and to become a minister destroyed all my plans. I can truly say that it was in no way in harmony with my feelings to preach. I also looked upon it as an awfully solemn engagement to try to preach the gospel. I realized that I was unworthy and incompetent, and would at times resolve not to engage in the matter, and then a sense of duty to God and his people, the great need of fallen man, and the great fullness there is in Christ, would follow me. So that I can truly say that I felt as great a distress about this matter as I had felt about myself as a sinner.

I often went in secret to ask God for wisdom to know my duty, and for grace to perform it. At times my feelings were, that if I only knew my duty I would patiently perform it; at other times I felt wholly unreconciled to it under any consideration. I told my wife of my troubles on the subject, and found that she was most bitterly opposed to it. She would often burst into tears and urge upon me never to yield to such an impression. We often wept together over the matter, both desiring and dreading to do our duty. We felt the greatest possible degree of opposition to such a course of life. I remember the first time I ever left my home to go to meeting. While preparing my clothes for that trip, I observed that my wife was crying. I had been away from home several days at a time before, and had never seen her so affected. I asked her about the matter; she said she felt sure that I would leave her a great deal in the future. All this greatly affected me, and I resolved in my mind that I never would consent to pursue such a course of life. I went away with a sad heart, and was greatly distressed about what course to pursue. I felt that it was duty, and yet I felt unreconciled to it. But during my stay I was led in my mind to resolve to follow my convictions of duty, and when I came home I told my wife that we ought not to refuse to obey longer. I spoke of God's great goodness to us in the pardon of our sin, and how he had blessed us in worldly things; referred to his great power to bless in worldly things and his power to comfort her in my absence and reconcile both of us to our duty. I also spoke of how our lives and health, and that of our family, were in his hands, and that he could at his own pleasure call any of these away from us; of what the Savior had suffered for us, and that we ought to be willing to bear anything for his sake. I felt humble that night, and I felt a strong resolution to do my whole duty. She listened to this speech, and when I was done she went out of the house, evidently in great distress. I waited a long while for her to return, and seeing that she stayed so long, I went out to see what was the state of her mind. I found her with her face buried in her hands, crying as if her heart would break. She said she never could be willing to submit to this matter. This was a terrible trial to me; we wept together, and I know that our grief was great. I felt my resolution to duty give way before such bitter opposition; many events occurred in which I was made to feel that I could not trample on my wife's wishes in the matter. I had been often asked to take part in public service but had always refused. I would often leave church with a sad heart on account of it. The next Thursday night, after this incident occurred, I went to a night meeting. I told my wife, when I left home that night, that if I was asked to take part I could not refuse. I was requested to take part, and did, in opening service, though I felt that it was a weak effort; yet I came away feeling greatly relieved. I continued to take part when opportunity offered; sometimes I enjoyed a rich feast in duty, and at others I was greatly mortified on account of my failures. The brethren encouraged me very much. There were some brethren that I shall not forget as long as I live, who said and did all they could to encourage me, apologizing for my failures and going with me to my appointments, etc., Charles Burch, Wm. Graves, Hughes East, Hardin Edwards, and many more now dead and in heaven, whose words of comfort I shall long remember. I felt assured that I had their confidence and prayers. My wife also became reconciled to my duty, and I can say that she has very few times in life opposed me in going to my appointments.

The brethren finally gave me license to preach, and later I was ordained by the following presbytery: Elders Gideon Potter, David T. Poynter and E. D. Thomas; also Deacons J. C. Freeman, George Kinder and Henry Boruff. This was on the third Saturday in January, 1872. I became more reconciled to my duty, and have been spending much of my time since in trying to do what I conceive to be my duty. I sensibly feel that I fall far short of making full proof of my ministry. I have formed the acquaintance of many brethren whose acquaintance has been sweet, and whom I greatly love. I feel sure they are moving in the cause, because they feel they must. I believe that the true minister's wife has a heavier cross to bear, if possible, than he. Oh! how few realize how much these women sacrifice of their own comfort. There are but few on earth, but yet there are some who do sympathize with them in their lonely moments at home alone, as a widow caring for a family and worldly concerns. Dear sister, allow me to remind you that the great Savior knows your entire case; he is able to comfort you and support you under your trials. There are few on earth that you need tell them to, but the Lord can hear and will supply your wants. Oh! how heavy the cross becomes when you think that a whole life is to be spent in this way. Your husband absent, everything to see to, with no prospect of its ever being better. You lay by your hope of your husband's company at home and his society in visiting your friends; no human words can resign you to your task, but the Savior’s presence and the sweet thought that he knows all you endure, and while the brethren may forget you and neglect you, the Lord will keep you to the end. In all your sufferings he is witness, and in heaven you will feel a sweet peace and rest that will be heightened and sweetened by what you suffer here.

I promised in the commencement of this article to give something in the way of counsel to those engaged in this work, and I know that the counsel, if good, is equally applicable to me. In Acts 20:28, we have the words: "Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock," etc. To Timothy he says: "Take heed unto thyself and to the doctrine." Such expressions are worthy of our most consideration. "We have this treasure in earthen vessels." We are but "earthen." "We are men of like passions with you." - Acts 14:15. Also, "Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are." - James 5:17. We are subject to pride, and vanity, and selfishness. Our hearts are liable to be the habitation of jealousy, envy and covetousness. We have our natural inclinations towards ease and popular favor, and all these are at war with the soul. It was a view of these things that led Paul to say: "Oh ! wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death ?" Herein lies the necessity that we take heed to ourselves. "The servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle, in meekness instructing them that oppose themselves." A spirit of strife is forbidden. "Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory." We should not use our gifts for a vain glorious purpose, to promote our own selves. Our gifts should be employed to edify and comfort God's children. In all our discipline avoid partiality; give ourselves to reading, to prayer, to exhortation, be examples to the flock in word, and conversation, and charity, etc. Study the interests of the churches, seek to declare the whole counsel of God.

It is not necessary to constantly investigate any one subject, but the whole scope of the gospel. Bear in mind that we are to be of good report of them that are without. We should, therefore, be faithful in all our dealings with men. We have no use for a preacher who is not truthful and safe in business. If he is poor, let him be truthful and trustworthy in worldly affairs; better go ragged than lose your good name. One says: "Look to thy hinder parts, minister, lest while thy mouth doth preach the gospel, thy nakedness and shame be seen of them that hear thee." Again he says: "Covetousness makes a minister smell bad and look more like a greedy dog than a minister." - Bunyan. Pride is a poor thing to adorn a minister; be plain, dress plain and common, walk in a common, humble way that will make the people feel that you are not above them. Remember what kind of preacher and preaching you most admired and loved when you were a poor mourner, and seek to preach to others in that way and manner that was then most comforting to you; don't be content with a few gospel notions in the head, but bear in mind the heart must be in the matter. While the mind should be stored with knowledge, the heart must be filled with love.

"Let us have grace" is a suitable prayer for all of us to offer. Humility, moderation, chastity in conversation and thought, faithfulness to God and his cause, knowledge of his Word, with a mind drawn out fervently for the welfare of Zion, are all ornaments to the minister. Our congregations will judge us, and our usefulness depends much upon our standing among the brethren. I will close this subject by reminding you that we should not become discouraged because but few attend our preaching; truth will some day triumph. God's people will one day be known, and be exalted above this poor earth. We will all meet in eternal rest. "Our light afflictions which are but for a moment," will end in "an eternal weight of glory." "The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us." Oh ! brethren, "be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord." Neither our rest, nor crown, is to be enjoyed in this life. Therefore "let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that doth so easily beset us, and let us run, with patience, the race that is set before us, ever looking unto Jesus, who is the author and finisher of our faith."

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