"Truth Crushed" (pseudonym), "Our Duty to Our Children," The Primitive Monitor vol. 8 no. 1 (Jan. 1893)
I have been thinking of writing a little on this subject for sometime, but have been waiting for some one else more capable than myself, feeling my incompetence to deal with a subject of so much importance, but by the help of God will write a little.
In Exodus xx, 12 it says, “Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” This is one of the commandments. Then, again in Deut., v, 16, “Honor thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee.” In Eph., vi, 1, 2, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right.” “Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise.” “Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing to the Lord;” Col., iii, 20. These and other scriptures show that it is children’s duty to obey their parents; and if they do not, then what?
There are many scriptures for parents. Now the Lord give you grace to hear a little plain talk. Oh! dear ones, I have been grieved to see this lack among the saints of God. It is a great wrong done to the children, and not only to them but to ourselves. I was in a family not long since where the children were not under very good discipline. The consequence was much discord among the children and a great annoyance to the parents, the mother especially. A little extra attention and some firmness and discipline is needed, and enough of the latter to accomplish the object. This is your duty toward your children, and to yourselves, and your God.
I know of families where the children govern the parents. The Lord help you to examine yourselves. There is a great responsibility resting upon you in this respect, and do you suppose the Lord will hold you guiltless? There is much scripture to be brought upon you. “Oh!” they say, “we can not whip our children; we love them so.” Some say, “I do not believe in whipping children.” Where the children are disobedient, who is to blame?
What does the Bible say about these things? Solomon says in Prov., xii, 24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” I understand that this means as often as they need it. Now we know that children are naturally disobedient. In Gen., viii, 21, it says, “The imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” So it is evident they have to be chastened in order to bring them in to obedience. We have heard people say, we are sanctified to do the Lord’s will. Well, it is the will of the Lord that you bring your children up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
There is a double lesson in Heb., xii. We will commence with the 5th verse: “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him; for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what some is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us, and we gave them reverence; shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.”
It is not pleasant to chastise our children. I do not think the Lord delights to chastise us, but it is necessary sometimes to keep us where we belong. He has to whip us into obedience. The Lord has chastened me into obedience. The Lord has chastened me severely. It did not give joy at the time, but afterward it yielded its fruit. “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness un
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