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Life and Travels of William Conrad
Chapter XIX - The Writer's Imprisonment
On the 30th day of July, 1864, in the evening of that day (Saturday) three soldiers, one of whom I knew well, Thurston Pharier rode up to the yard gate with musket in hand and bayonet on. I was sitting in company with wife in dining room. I immediately after seeing them through the window, left my chair, passed through the kitchen, opened the door in front, walked out to them, supposing they had called for water, as it was a very warm evening. I asked Pharier if he wanted a drink of water, he said not; after which he said Captain Dias told him and the other two soldiers to come and let me know he wished me to get ready by the time he came along to go with him to Williamstown. I inquired what he wanted with me at Williamstown, lie replied he did not know. I then asked him what time Captain Dias wished me to be at town. I also told him to give me the time or hour, and I would be there at the given time if spared. Pharier then said they would wait until I got ready. I told them I would have to shave and that my horse was out in the woodland pasture; they said very well, we will wait for you and that I should get ready soon as possible. By this time I understood their purpose was to arrest me and I knew not for what I went back into the room and told wife that I thought their object was to arrest me and take me to Williamstown. I also told wife I thought I could give any security they might ask, and so come home that evening. Wife got hot water for me to shave quite soon. Just as I took my seat before the glass to shave these impressions rolled into my mind-good will come of it; good will come of it-thus twice, and next, the Lord will provide; the Lord will provide; "I know on whom I have believed," I am willing to. trust the Lord. Under those impressions I felt a frame of calmness and a composure doubtless above ordinary quiet; so free from excitement that I shaved myself without anything of nervousness as far as I yet know. After which I went to the saddle house, got my riding bridle and went along deliberately off to the woodland pasture after my horse, leaving the soldiers inside my yard fence sitting, and some, if not all three of them laying on the grass, having hitched their horses to the yard fence. I had to walk in getting and returning with my horse to the saddle house, near a half or quarter of a mile.
While absent after my horse, Captain Dias and his troops and a number of citizen prisoners came along. Dias inquired of the three above named soldiers where I was; on being told I had gone out into the pasture after my horse, the Captain and others cursed the three soldiers, telling them that they would see me no more.
Here I will state that I had it fully in my power to have made my escape while after my horse, but then I would not, for I knew of nothing amiss that I had done, and that my Lord knew all about me and He would protect me and do his pleasure with me in spite of men and devils; and with all I naturally was not one of them that draw back nor run for fear of all the Lord would let them do unto me.
The three soldiers, after being so roughly spoken to by the Captain and others, became uneasy for fear they would not see me return; they crawled up off the grass, climbed up on the post and railing fence to look for me; presently they saw me coming along leading my horse, after which they crawled back on the grass again, On my reaching the saddle house again I put on my saddle, led the horse to the style. After hitching him I walked into the house, as I passed them they bade me hurry and get ready. I told them I was old and I could not do things as quick as in younger days. However, I was not long shifting my clothes and putting on fresh clothes and went out and got on my horse. They already mounted; the two strange soldier's, on my being seated on my saddle and turning my horse from the style or blocks, they whipped around-one to my right hand, the other to my left, each of them with his thumb on the hammer of his musket, their muskets with bayonet on, and so placed under the leg of each next to mine, that in, perhaps, two instances before reaching the turnpike road, a short mile from my house, the bayonet of one of their muskets got quite entangled on my stirrup or stirrup leather, I will not say which nor whether the tangle was accidental or of purpose by the soldier; at the moment I said to them, we are riding too closely, after which remark they kept a little farther apart from me. I yet remember that we had proceeded but few yards from my house when the thought rolled into my mind thus: they may for aught I know, shoot me down before we reach the end of my lane. But, immediately it occurred to my mind, suppose they do shoot me, what of all that I am already old, and doubtless it would be best for me, the Lord's will be done.
On reaching the pike, in the place of turning up the pike to Williamstown, they wheeled to the left down the pike; on reaching Urial Tungates at the brick house, near one mile from Esau Conrad's, just where we get on the pike from my house, the soldiers that had thus far conducted me, told me I might turn in and stay with my old neighbor (who then was quite sick to whom I had given medicine for the dropsy) until they returned that evening from the dry ride, some three quarters of a mile distant; they at the same time ordered supper and feed for some ten or twelve horses. It was not long however until Captain Dias and his troops came dashing by up the pike toward Williamstown at; full speed, having learned that there was an attack by a confederate force of rebels on federal or government troops but a small distance above Williamstown. And in the timber or woods, so fast was the dashing on by the horse, which was hitched at Tungate's yard fence, that the horse became frantic, so that when the soldier that was left to see to me gave orders to mount my horse in double quick time, but my horse pulling the bridle to dash off with the crowd had made the knot tight so that it was difficult for me to get him loose, at which the soldier became either seared or impatient and began to curse me, and after I got him loose and had gotten on to his saddle, it was with difficulty I could ride him at all, which heated the soldier more and his curses came heavier. About this time came Thurston Farier, overtaking the soldier and me, and seeing I could scarcely stay on my horse, he said to me, Uncle Billy take it more slowly, I see your horse is like to throw you off. I replied I was too old to ride fast; he added take it as you can hold it; I was glad to hear him (Farier) give such direction as he passed the soldier and myself, for those to me served to admonish the soldier that had me in charge, or else he became alarmed by fearful apprehension, that in hastening on to Williamstown he might be hurried into battle with the rebels. I supposed, however, it was alarm, for he soon remarked to me that if Captain Dias and his men should leave Williamstown before we reached town he would not go one step out of Williamstown, for if the rebels were in the bushes the union men would have a bad time of it. Presently, we passed a horse or two already given out and hitched along the road side, their riders gone and left their horses. At length on reaching Williamstown, we found that all was false, there had been no fighting with the rebels nor any of them near. The rest of the citizen prisoners had all reached town before me; when ordered and about to alight from nay horse I proposed to the Captain and Marshal that if no surety would be taken for me to go home and return again at a given time, that my horse and saddle be sent home by some friend, to which the officers agreed, as I told them that I was old and could not well ride horse-back as fast as the soldiers likely would travel to the railroad, the Kentucky Central Railroad; I told them my grandson would take me in my buggy to the depot. But, after the agreement with the officers as above, I had alighted but a few minutes until Richard Kensler. son of James Kensler, loosed my horse and went leading my horse to the soldier that, had taken Richard Kensler's horse some days before on the scout taking citizens prisoners; however quiet and attending to their own business, young Kensler succeeded in changing with the soldier, putting my horse, young and fresh, in place of his, and led off home his horse.
I quite soon, next morning, from our prison room in the Court-house through the window, saw a saddle near the Court house that I recognized as mine. I spoke to a fiend from the window, who promised and did take care of saddle for me. I felt quite sad as well as badly treated by the officers who failed to make good their contract with me about my horse and saddle. They rode my horse until the poor horse seemed to groan almost as a human greatly oppressed. My sons afterward succeeded in getting the horse, but so abused, and though he was my saddle horse and carried me so safe to fill my appointments for preaching for years, to see he was not to be used in the dreadful and fratricidal war then in progress, was among the hard things I had to endure; the horse that had often borne his rider to and fro, bearing wherever he went none other than the message of the Gospel of Salvation, it (the Gospel) was the burden of his heart and the boast of his tongue, and then to think is not his proud spirit and strong limbs bearing a rider with speed into the midst of battle fully armed with the weapons of death. O, how opposite the course of the riders, one for that peace that passeth knowledge, the tidings of peace on earth and good will toward men. Bat, now in prison under guard, in one of the jury rooms, up in the second story of the second Court-house, I had helped to pay for its building in past years, and built on the same spot of ground I had, over fifty, six years ago, with my little puny team or span of horses, before writing these lines, ground, turn after turn of corn into meal for my little family, on a little old-fashioned horse-mill, then the only chance for to get meal in summer and fall season of the year, unless going quite a distance from home. On the next morning after I was arrested, I learned my wife wished to see me, as I supposed for the last time. As the word was out quite current that the authorities would take us South, and start with us on the following (Monday), I sent my wife word that if she could come right to come along, accordingly she came on Sunday, early in the day, and most, if not all our five sons were there with their bereaved mother to bid a last, a final Farewell to their fettered or imprisoned father, (and as all knew without cause) and then a kind and faithful wife to thus take leave of one who so often felt himself so very unworthy of being her husband, and both husband and wife so far advanced in life. Yes, so far gone down the steep and dark side of life. I would if I could, but cannot for words, cannot express the feelings that filled the bosoms of husband and wife, and their sons and daughters-in-law, with many then loving grand children to realize the parting scene. O, how can I describe the parting, the giving of the parting hand under the then surrounding scenes, no more to meet until the trumpet of God shall sound and awake the nations of earth to appear before the Judge of the quick and thc dead. All the spare time I had on this first Sunday, and second day of my imprisonment, as I could let go or leave off from conversation with my friends and fellow-prisoners, I used up in writing, as I then believed, my best letter to each of the four Churches that I had so constantly attended for so many years, to each Church a letter, all just the same matter, which will be copied after the history of my imprisonment is concluded. I name here that each of the four Churches copied same letter in their Church book during that day. Isaac B. Conrad, my oldest son, made a request of me that if I ever got my own consent to have my photograph taken to send him one; he turned away as with a crushed heart without an answer, for my heart and tongue faltered, I could not then answer, but before he left the prison-room, I told him if I ever got my consent to do so I would, if I could, send my likeness to him. Well we all having parted, most of the wives and children of the citizen prisoners that were collected then in Williamstown. But, from cause unknown to us prisoners, the removal of us prisoners was postponed over Monday which was found out so that Tuesday our prison was quite crowded most of the day, for the wives and children of all the prisoners got word that their husbands were not yet removed from town, and children came with their mothers, yes, and grand children to look once more on their sorrow stricken grandfathers. My poor heart felt so crushed that I could hold no longer; I said to the officers: Do pray, if you must, take us away from our nearest and dearest friends on earth let it be done right away, for this the third day that the tragic scene is being enacted, to be as it were dying day after day; tender and loving husbands dragged from their heart-broken, as welt as affectionate wives and weeping children. Under the threatening tone of taking their husbands and Fathers to Tortugas and Dixie, where we must pine away and die, far away from our loved ones and among strangers. However, the officers came to the conclusion to start with us Wednesday morning quite early. Some of the companions, as well as children of their arrested fathers and friends lodged Tuesday night in Williamstown. I well remember that I got a friend to go to my house that night, about midnight, to give my grandson, I. N. Conrad, word to bring my horse and buggy to town by three o'clock in the morning. Thus we prisoners were all up washed and ready for our departure. Breakfasted at half-past two O'clock, partaking et the provisions of our kind friends' among who was Sister Mary Boyers, who had all three days furnished a full share of our regular meals while in the Court-house, for it is butt just to say that us citizen prisoners were compelled to pay our board or do without. The first night we suppered at the tavern; had to foot our bill. The first case, perhaps, ever known that prisoners in time of peace or war had to pay for their regular meals, and especially when moved from one prison to another. And more, each prisoner was compelled to pay his fire from Williamstown to Morgan Station, on Kentucky Central Railroad, one dollar a piece for their being hauled over rough road in common Farm wagons, some over twelve miles. Of course I went in my own buggy, drove by my grandson, as was agreed on with the Captain and Marshal. I feel that it is proper also to state that Monday or Tuesday evening, I do not recollect which evening, some of the poor soldiers that guarded us shed tears freely while they looked on the humiliating, as well as sorrowful scene, as dear husbands and wives, children and grand children, bathed in tears gave each other the parting hand, no more to meet here below. And in one case a soldier guarding us said to his follow soldier: Take my musket with bayonet for it is more than I can longer stand. His fellow took the musket reluctantly, and with angry tone of a chicken-hearted coward, as the weeping soldier turned away from the heart rendering scene. I insert the last clause that the reader may be reminded that in those days of dreadful strife there were some soldiers that were in possession of hearts that could feel, while their officers, if in possession of hearts and conscience, surely were seared as with a hot iron, at least past. Feeling, as though these were no heart trying occurrences before them destitute of human sympathy.
The officers that controlled and managed the prisoners were Colonel Urial Harrison and Marshal William R. Simpson, at least they were called and recognized, in the time of our trouble, about Williamstown, in Grant County, Ky. Under the appellation of Col. Urial Harrison and Marshal William R. Simpson, having arrived at Morgan Station on Kentucky Central Railroad as above named, the road then under the control of the military or War Department, we inquired of the military or ticket agent what our fare would be to Lexington, Ky., on our route to Louisville, Ky. The answer given was no charge for the passage of prisoners on that road. We began to feet that we should fare better so far as ringing from us greenbacks for our passport to Lexington, than we had the past few days, that we had been under the control of the above named Captain Dias and his son-in-law, Lieutenant or Sergeant Ranton at Williamstown, and Col. Harrison, the Marshal, and the squad of soldiers that conducted us to the station as above. But before the cars reached the station we were notified l)y one of the officers in charge, I think it was Marshal Bill Dick Simpson, as he was generally called about Williamstown, but whether it was him or the Colonel Harrison, one of them named to us that we must pay half tire any how, and the other officer did not demur or object. One of us prisoners, perhaps Washington Osborne, made answer to the officer who had made the demand, that he have no money to pay for the passage of us prisoners on the cars. The same officer that claimed we should pay half fare any how, said to the prisoner thus: Well, we will examine you all, and see if you have no money to pay your toll-fee. This threat to examine us and see, led us all to a man, greatly to prefer paying toll, than have them to examine us and so to handle our pocket-books and so search for our money, hence we paid our fare, and when the train came up one of the above named officers, and I think not more than two of the guards entered the car, first going a little back in the car, after which the other commandant and a portion of the guard directed us prisoners to enter the car, after all in the train moved on for Lexington, Ky.
After reaching that place we were conducted from the cars a small distance on to the street. The officers seemed at a pause as though they did not know what next to do, or what street to take, but after pausing a while they moved us onward along one street of some length, then along another street of greater length; after which another street off to the left, all the while under quick step, and making the impression all the while they were taking us to headquarters. But to us it seemed they were attempting to make a show of their booty (us prisoners) as they marched us along the streets of such length, and so many of them. At length we were brought to a pause. Alter some length of time we were wheeled off to the right into an old schoolhouse, then used as a kind of prison house, and there left under guard of a few soldiers while the above named officers went off to headquarters to report, or make arrangements, as we supposed, for the further disposition of us prisoners. After which they returned to the temporary prison where they left us under guard, and ordered us to follow them. Escorted by the guard who had us in charge, into the presence of several men. uniformed as officers, and represented to us as the authorities and head-quarters of the War Department at Lexington, Ky. After they had looked on us they read over the list of our names, requiring us to answer to our names as called, and give the name of our county and district. After which we were conducted, as directed by Colonel Urial Harrison and Marshall William R. Simpson, to same temporary prison (the old school-house), after which they both left us in charge of the same guard without further ceremony. So that we saw no more of the officers that conducted us to Lexington until we returned home to our families. We were while there detained, quite much taunted by these young boyish looking soldiers, as though they had been directed to inquire and get out of us, if possible, something to charge, and if possible make us appear as traitors to our beloved old government and country, but in all that they failed. And there being in the same prison two females prisoners, under guard, a mother and her daughter, we felt much mortified to see them so maltreated by the authorities, as to be like us dragged from their homes, and like us being incarcerated in prison with the rude soldier. We felt from all we seen and heard from them that they had seen better days and used better society.
Time had passed along, one o'clock had come and no intimation given or prospect of dinner. I mentioned that we had taken breakfast at half-past two o'clock that morning, and of course it was time for our second or dinner-meal to have come. The guard seemed rather tickled than otherwise. Presently I named again that it was full time for dinner, if they intended to give us dinner at all. The guard then ceased taunting the two females (who in the meantime were too pert for these rough guards), and began on us to taunt and jeer us, saying there was no dinner to come to us. And so continued until after two o'clock when one or more officers came to us, commanding us to move with double quick step to the cars, then in waiting for us. They placed the two female prisoners in our front to march us to the cars. I being old and stiff I tried my best to keep full pace, at least with those females, yet they out went me; I was rather heavy loaded with heavy carpet-sack and another roll beside my blankets, and with all the distance so great and the course they led us surely had the appearance that the authorities had given notice to that part of the citizens of Lexington who stood most opposite to Democrats, so they might, if possible, by taking their stand in front of their houses, look upon and frown us out of countenance. I remember well I taxed all my energies, both mental and physically, to move along under their gaze as bravely as possibly I could. At last, we reached and entered the cars, and thus all on board the train moved off for Louisville, and reached the city about sunset. We were ordered to leave the cars after a pause of some minutes; the guard led by an officer, whose name we did not learn, moved us along quite a long space, he then called a halt; we sat down and rested until the officer and guard obtained information of a place to lodge us, it being now after nightfall, and the delay seemed to indicate to us that room for prisoners was scarce in Louisville. After which the orders came to march, and yet the officers were slow as though they themselves did not know the place of deposit, but after quite a long and weary march we reached and entered Barracks No. 1, one quite long but narrow prison, which in number for that night was used for the goal and resting place of over one hundred citizen prisoners. After some hour or more we were conducted by a guard of armed soldiers to the eating room to our first supper on hard-tack, as was the common term for prisoner's fare, and at that late hour of the night to break our fast, as the first opportunity for eating since half past two o'clock the past morning. However, there were some among us that felt to thank God and take courage, seeing it was as well with us as it was that evening, although quite a distance from our families and former resting place; now within the walls of Barracks No. 1 in the city of Louisville, and although quite fatigued in the place of eyes growing heavy, our sorrowing hearts could but think of our sorrowing companions and children and friends we left behind to mourn after their nearest and dearest friends thus dragged away from their kind embraces, and fond homes no more to return. And then our throbbing hearts would lift up the cry to God to have mercy and bless those fond ones left behind, while I felt to look to Him on whom I had so long believed, and called the name of the Lord that spoke unto me as did Hagar "Thou God seeth me," for I, as did Hagar, said "have I also here looked after him that seeeth me? 13th verse of 16th chapter Genesis." Dear reader; never before did that portion of God's word appear so precious to me "Thou God seeth me." Yes, thought I, "the Lord knoweth my thoughts afar off' and every word in my tongue, yea He knoweth me altogether. In view of which my proud and stubborn heart had so often been humbled before the Great, the Omnipresent God everywhere present, beholding the evil and the good; for said I: The Lord knoweth my down sittings and my uprisings. He knoweth if I have acted in anywise toward my country and toward that old Government under which I was born, that would rightfully subject me to my present lodgment in Barracks No 1; and then feeling a willingness to commit my then present condition to the Lord's disposal, I engaged with my fellow-prisoners in seeking out our places on which to rest our wearied bodies for the night's remainder. And as I was old and clumsy they allowed me to take one of the lower bunks (so called) about two-thirds of the distance back from the front door of' the prison, opening to Main street, at least a quite wide street, which bunk was next the door opening on that side of the prison being the door to the place of washing and also the privy. All these bunks are arranged three in each tier, lower, second and third, and about twenty-four inches apart, making the third resting place about; eight feet up from the lower floor. The first night was rather a bad or restless night to most of us, for the prison was not yet emptied or rid of its former occupants (the chinch bug) but worried along through the night, and on the next day and onward the authorities went to work employing hands to expel these old occupants (the chinch bug) by washing and blushing until those pests were at least mostly dislodged, and although our prison was washed and scrubbed every day for the first week and upwards, yet our prison was not to us as was our pleasant homes from which we had been dragged by the military power. The next and following nights we strove to be as cheerful as we could, there being a few old Baptists among us and some Methodists, and perhaps some Presbyterian, but mostly of no profession. Some of us ventured to obtain leave to sing in the prison, so that the fore part o[ the night we sung, (I had a Bible and hymn book with me.) While others in little groups would wear away all the fore part of these short nights in August, in some kind of amusement, adopting various games or plays by which to avoid depression of spirits, for it was quite often whispered around by some from outside, whether lawyer or officer, that in a few days we would be taken South, and to a place called Tortugas, or some such name, and represented as being so hot that we could scarcely breathe. Such news we soon learned was from the higher officers who had collected at Louisville to have their pockets filled. So that news being carried into the prison might induce us prisoners to make proposals to them through their orderlies or some of their tools; and those by them so employed who profess to sympathize with us that they might the more successfully get or obtain the highest bid of price for release from our state of imprisonment. So that it was but a day or two after we reached the barracks until some, I know of one, who told me from his own mouth, and also told to us prisoners for a purpose to hurry others to offer a little smaller sum than Robert Carlisle's $1,000 paid in hand before he obtained his release from headquarters, and that release to the shame and disgrace of any Government on earth that Robert Carlisle, Esq., should pass immediately beyond the border States for a time indefinite an exile from his family, home and country, quite an aged as well as highly respected citizen.
And more, from some misunderstanding of the Squire, or a failure of the officers that issued the release to mention in the release that said Robert Carlisle must go beyond the border States, so it was, Carlisle was boarding, as he understood, his written release in Cincinnati, Ohio. In a few days, however, he was arrested and taken back to Louisville and put in prison, and had again to pay several hundred dollars more before released.
The above, with subsequent trouble connected therewith. Squire Robert Carlisle paid to the authorities over fifteen hundred dollars, in all; others paid, some seven, some six, some five, four and three hundred dollars, and perhaps some as low as one hundred dollars-perhaps some less. The scare and fear of being shipped South had died down, so that there was quite a number that did not pay anything for their release. In the meantime, there were propositions made to me that my son Jacob S. Conrad, and myself could have our release for the sum of nine hundred dollars, and we, too, to go beyond the border States, and so, exiles for a time indefinite, with the privilege of calling at our homes to see how they do, and immediately go on to our place of exile. I told them they could dry up, and never say anything more to me on that subject; that I had yet to learn or know of any offence for which the authorities had thus to deal with us; and hence, I felt disposed to abide the kind providence of a gracious and merciful God.
Many of the prisoners, in fact, as far as I could learn, all the citizen prisoners of Louisville and those of the county of Jefferson were moved, the next; morning after our arrival at Louisville, from Barracks No. 1 to some other prison in the city, and so there were not more than sixty-five left in our prison. In a few days, I became very tired of our hard fare. My teeth, mostly all, had given way-only some remaining stumps and snags were left-so that I could do very little toward chewing the poor, stringy beef set for us to eat; mostly all that was set for us appeared to be the shanks-not only tough, but full of leaders and tendons-and withal, so badly handled that I eat quite light, meals. To give all the particulars of our fare, as prepared for us to eat, would be too much to tax the reader's patience with, and would also make the narrative too lengthy. Let it be remembered that, among us, there were eight or ten that managed to obtain from the authorities the privilege of boarding ourselves in the prison, prepared by a lady in the city, whose husband was a prisoner the first night with us, but, as named above, was moved to another prison with the rest, but suffered to come and stay with us a few days and nights. His name was John H. Talbert, with whom the arrangement was made for his wife, Mrs. Talbert, to cook and send us three meals each day, and send it to the prison for us by her two quite small sons and one or two little daughters, for one dollar per day, or seven dollars a week. Our meals came regular each day, and in such good condition-all was nice and clean, well-cooked, and of the most palatable, healthy diet the country afforded. I have often said, and here assert that my candid judgment was, and yet is, that Mrs. Talbert was a lady worthy of imitation, and those dear little children of hers, by whom she sent our meals, regularly three times a day, came with earnestness, although quite fatigued and in a high state of perspiration, and if any of us prisoners were at or near the front door, they would bring their baskets and hand them under the muskets and bayonets crossed at the door by the guards. Then the little children would step back a respectful distance, and patiently wait until we finished our meal; or, if the children seen none of us near the door when they came, they would step by to the door at headquarters, at which instance, there came with the children a corporal, or soldier, that bore word to and from us, and parted the cross of muskets, and the dear little children, thus let in, carried their provision a little beyond half the length of Barracks No. 1, set down their baskets and stood and rested as best they could, until we spread our meal on some old table or box. After thus made ready for eating, I. T. Martin (now dead) would tap his plate with his knife-the signal for the writer to crave a blessing; after which, we ate our meals soberly and, I trust, thankfully, without any levity. After all had eat, our foreman, I. T. Martin, would call the roll of names of us so boarding in prison. At which call, each of us responded by laying down our dollar every morning, after finishing our breakfast, our foreman, Mr. Martin writing a few lines to Mr. Talbert, and enclosing the money in the same, and passing it to the cook, by her little children. Finding always a surplus of provision, we all concluded to furnish some two or three of our fellow-prisoners with at least one meal a day, and send her word, as well as the money, for those additional meals, and thus saving to Mrs. Talbert that much. Those prisoners for whom we thus paid were, in a pecuniary manner, unable to help themselves, and in the meantime, men of good standing-but were unfortunate.
I here mention again the name of John H. Talbert who I considered above the ordinary, open, humble and affable countenance. By profession I think he was a Methodist, and kind husband of Mrs. Talbert, as named above. I well remember his joining us in singing those old-fashioned songs used by Old School Baptists every time he was present, and to me, from his appearance, it seemed he sung with the spirit, and with the understanding, also. I learned, after he was moved again from us, that the authorities moved him and others South, and in a short time after taken South, his good health gave way, as from distress about his removal so far from his dear wife and children. So it was he quite soon found he could not survive or live in that climate, and feeling he should soon die, he applied and obtained leave and was sent to his family again, at Louisville-as he wished to die in the house and on the bed where he had so long rested with his dear family-there wished to bid them all adieu, and, as I learn, he but merely reached his bed when he expired-left his wearied body and all his troubles in this sorrowful vale, where his fellow-prisoner (the writer) yet survives, combating the waves of a dark and boisterous sea.
But to return more immediately to my own narrative, I was the oldest, except one, of all the inmates of the prison, and withal, being one that had traveled much, to and fro, in my native State, Kentucky, as well as the States of Ohio, Indiana. Illinois and Missouri. Quite a number of the seventy-two prisoners, instead of the sixty-five before mentioned, were personally acquainted with me, while most of the rest knew me from character, and a portion, as named before, being by profession members of several different churches. Yet, when the first Sunday morning came, several of the prisoners came to me and requested me to preach to them, the prisoners, and as many else as might be willing to give their attention. They further remarked that it was their manner at home to go to church every Sunday, and that while in prison, they wished to have preaching every Sunday, if I would consent. They also said there was another preacher there, but that he refused to take any part in the services, from fear or some other cause. I told them I dared not refuse, for they knew I was a servant of the public by profession; but there was one thing to be borne in mind that would be but right-that we must have the consent of the commandant thus to act. "Yes," said they, "we will see to that matter."
After they had obtained the grant we, learning that the authorities had promised that they would see that good order should be kept while we were engaged in worship in our manner, we then fixed on the hour preaching was to commence that day. As the hour rolled on, the prisoners and a few of the soldiers gathered near my bunk, or resting-place, some two-thirds or three-fourths the length of the prison, back from front-door opening to a main street. Being so gathered, after praise and prayer, I read to my fellow-prisoners the 15th verse of the 1st chapter of Paul to Timothy, thus "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came irate the world to save sinners, of' whom, I am chief." After some remarks made, the words, "Thou, God, seest me," appeared more sweet to me than ever before, although they seemed so precious to me as they rolled into my mind on Wednesday night before my first night in the barracks. I quoted the same to my dear little congregation in the barracks, and made some remarks from the same, showing that Hagar, Sarah's bond-maid, spoke those words after bid away from home by Sarah, taking Ishmael with her, being her son by Abraham. Thus compelled from home, with no hope of return, after the angel of God bid her return to her mistress, Hagar used the words, "Thou, God, seest me."
O, friends, how very appropriate to us in our present situation!" O, may each of us feel today, while speaking and hearing, "Thou, God, seest me!" Yes, our God is omnipresent in every place, beholding all beings and creatures; looking on the evil and the good; so, my dear fellow-prisoners, he hath known and doth know us altogether, even every word in our tongues, he knoweth how it is that we are here this Sunday morning, assembled as we are, and what our trespass, if any, against our one best government the world ever knew.
I then, quoting the portion I first read to them, endeavored to show the great and guilty distance we poor fallen sons and daughters of our Apostate Father, as fully as I could, that by transgression we had fallen under the law and under its curse; and so by nature the children of wrath even as others that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. And that vile and wretched as we have made ourselves by reason of sin against God our maker so lowly sunk down at that time without God and without hope in the world, and when there was no eye to pity the Lord God of the holy, prophets laid help upon one that was able to save this dear friends is the Christ Jesus that our text or portion of Scripture say is come into the world to save sin. nets, of whom Paul saith I am the chief of sinners. O dear friends let us all look at these words again, I am the chief; see my fiends it does not read that Paul was the chief of sinners; but he saith to Timothy, his son, I am the chief of sinners Now while I write this letter to you, Timothy as though he had given as a reason among others, persecuted the church of God unto strange cities hauling men and women before kings and rulers to punish them as though he had said to his son after the common faith: Timothy I verily thought I ought to do many things contrary to Jesus of Nazareth, which firings I also did, and therefore I feel it follows that I am, yes I am now, in my own estimation, the chief of sinners. An outside case. And now, dear friends, you guard as well as these prisoners and you officers, we make the appeal to yon, one and all, are you this moment in your sober judgment prepared to say, I the chief of sinners am. O is there one of those that are listening to my shattered voice, both soldiers and these prisoners, that this moment feels to admire the great, the sparing mercy of God to you, that you are yet alive and yet this side the grave and out of an awful hell. Now to such we proclaim this day that the Christ Jesus of whom Paul speaks has come into the world to save just such poor sinners as know the plague of their own hearts, their wretchedness, their woe and misery. 0 hear his precious voice as recorded: "Look unto me and be ye saved all the ends of the earth for I am God and beside me there is none else." O friends let us remember this Christ Jesus while tabernacling among us, said, "I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." So, dear friends, you see our text says He came to save sinners, and the angel said to Mary, "Thou shall call His name Jesus, for He shall save His people from their sins;" therefore, it follows that God's people are sinners, and, as we read, Christ Jesus came to save sinners. O, friends, it is a great thing to know we are sinners in a gospel sense; it is a sign of life divine; it is evidence that we are born of God; and you know this Jesus, while here on earth, said, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, (Nicodemus), except a man be born again, he cannot see the Kingdom of God." Once more we repeat, "This is a Faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation." It is worth and worthy of the acceptation of all poor, ready-to-perish sinners. It is a faithful saying; it is worthy of all a full and entire acceptation; it is goodness; it is glad tidings; it is the burden and proclamation of the gospel of thc grace of God.
I may here add, as did Peter, on the day of Pentecost with many other words, I did testify and exhort my congregation (in Barracks No. 1) to repent and turn to God, and do works meet for repentance; after which, I dismissal as orderly and as attentive a congregation, composed of prisoners, soldiers and officers, as I ever addressed any where outside of a prison. I say this to the praise of the well doing of the above named congregation, and feel free to state that I felt during the effort to preach on that occasion, rather an unusual liberty in speaking, and a warm desire for the salvation of the poor soldiers and guards, as well as my dear fellow-prisoners, for whom I had contracted a kind regard, above what I had before felt for those with whom I had been acquainted; and withal, there came into my poor heart a thought that grew into a hope that the Lord would make our poor effort in trying to preach and worship that Sunday morning a blessing to some of the congregation; but of that God only knoweth; and yet is still in my heart a look after, and yet I may never know any more about any good coming of it than now. I still feel that our labor was not in vain in the Lord, and so cheerfully commit it and all else into the hands of our gracious and covenant God, for His disposal.
I would here remark that but a few days had passed in prison until I found a kind feeling of love in my bosom going out toward my fellow-prisoners, of which I felt they were worthy-for a company of higher-toned gentlemen, as far as I had observed, I had not known, as men collected from different parts of Kentucky and one from Georgia. And more, a love also for the soldiers and guard, as they mingled with us in passing in and out of the prison. And, although I had every night to pass to the privy from two to three times, and often had to awake the two guards at the door, just at the foot of the bunk or sack of straw on which I lay to sleep, and withal, such trouble-one with musket and bayonet in hand, the other guard, his mate, remaining at the door while the former conducted me to the privy, that all the night was lit up with gas-light, making that room quite light, and then conducted me back to the barracks, which, also, during the night, was light enough to read in almost any part of the prison, by the light afforded by the gas-pipes. And, with all this trouble to the guards, they never gave me a short or angry word, nor any else of the soldiers. From some cause, the Lord only knoweth, although a captive or prisoner, now under guard and control of my captivators, yet I loved them, and pitied the guard when I had thus to awake them out of their heavy sleep.
And then, the reader may wonder why I did not, under such circumstances, crawl out and make my escape from prison and return to my family. I can easily answer thc reader's inquiry-I had no disposition to do so. And then again, it is written, 'Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers, for there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God; whosoever, therefore, resisteth the power resisteth the ordinance of God, and they that resist should receive to themselves damnation; for rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil" [1st and 2nd verses, 13th chapter of Romans.] And, above all, I felt I had nothing to fear; that, I had been dragged to prison without cause of any offense, and that the blessed Lord would direct my course and provide, for me under the circumstance present and to come, for almost constantly these sweet words were in my heart: "Thou, God, seeth me." Yes, God sees me, in all my thoughts, in all my ways-whether asleep or awake, by day or night, all is and was open to His all-searching eye; and on His strong arm I desired to lean, as my only stay and prop, all along this sorrowful vale, where I dwell; then what else should I wish, even hero in prison, far away from my aged companion and wife of my bosom and our then five, living sons and daughters-in-law and dear grandchildren?
No, can none fill that aching void so often felt here below, in our sorrowful hearts, but the
Lord, our righteousness, and then, with the poet, we may well sing,
"Compared with Christ, in all (beside wife and children with kind friends)
No comeliness I see;
The one thing needful, dearest Lord, is to be one with thee;
More than thyself I cannot crave, and thou can'st give no more."
Thus, while in Barracks No. 1, trust I felt to know in my own soul, another sentiment given by the poet,
"Prisons do palaces prove, if Jesus but dwell with me there."
The foregoing clause, or sentiment, I had long believed firmly, but then and now I do feel to know the poet's sentiment is true. Hence our days of exile from our families and friends moved sluggishly with mostly all my matters, while my busy thoughts wore, by day and by night, poring over and recounting the vast number of God's blessings, as well as the multitude of ills mercies toward me a poor and worthless worm of the many seasons of sweet communion with God and His dear circumcised children. Yes, I was much of the time musing over the tours in the far West, and the many meetings with His dear children in that distant land, as well. as the gracious hand leading me all the way from Egypt, the land of chains and fetters; and to look over the many tears in my own native State, as well as the several adjoining States; and amid, among and through all, the Lord's strong arm did and yet rules, and may I say He yet is my guide, my hope, my way, my front and rear guard.
In view of all God's mercies-which; for multitude, I cannot count-and my little powers of speech and pen to help, I can but show a faint glimpse of the many, as well as of the greatness of His mercies toward them that, fear Him.
Under such and alike reflections, my state of exile seemed then, and now as I write, appears short. And now as I write, it rolls up in my mind that, "Prisons do palaces prove, if Jesus but dwell with me there." and now as I write, can I complain of the powers, or feel in me a wish or a spirit of retaliation toward any that aided or were principals in putting me in Barracks No. 1? No-neither while in, or now, after the lapse of ten years out of the barracks; and, moreover, I feel that my Lord designed to teach me some things in prison that were best for me to be taught there, and that redound most to God's glory. Hence, I look on nay imprisonment at Louisville with as much complacency and delight as any tour or occurrence of my pilgrim sojourn here on earth, and especially as regards my ministerial labors in the Lord and knowledge made known to me in deep waters, although made to reel to and fro and stagger as a drunken man, at nay wit's end, for herein was and is God glorified, through Christ Jesus, my Lord. For I can but speak, as well as think of His mighty power, that so wrought in me to His praise among my brethren after my return home to my family, and among my friends, that I can but speak in kind remembrance of God's blessed dealings with me in prison, so forcible that, time after time it the past ten years. I have said and feel this moment, while I pen these lines, that I had a blessed time while enclosed in the barracks-yes, it seems to me I was more blessed while I looked for nothing but the clash of arms and the tramp and noise of soldiers; but then, the same Lord that was with the three Hebrew children in the fiery furnace, I trust, was with the poor worm that now writes of God's goodness to him.
Since, or at least, for the last six years, although I have still, as before imprisonment, mingled, passing and repassing, among; the Lord's professed family, and, as heretofore, mingling and commingling, though for the last three years, or near that length of time, owing to my advanced age, I have not met with God's dear children at a distance from home, as in former years, but trust I have, and yet feel to look after and for the Kingdom of God-which is declared to be righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost, but have not been able to so much as see our sign; and in the place of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost, behold a sad declination, a retrograde march, a following after the vanities, fashions and customs of this world, with but little exception, and so far gone that many professed disciples of Christ have drinked in so much of the spirit of this world that they cannot deny themselves and their children any privilege that is common for the worldling to indulge in; and so, we can see but little, if any difference between the men and women of the world and the professed disciples of Jesus, both men and women. The once humble females that stood aloof from the extravagances their husbands indulged in, now join their husbands in a course that, in days past, would hare made their mothers turn away with disgust.
So the writer feels that all is darkness and gloom as regards the New Testament character and marks of the Church of Christ, in her once visible form, as set forth in God's word. Hence the reader will see that the writer feels sad and pensive as he looks at our beloved Zion and sees that all her ways do mourn.
So now he makes his pen again write of the quiet and peace he enjoyed in his prison home at Louisville. Owing to the frequent washings, in order to cleanse our prison, and not drying off well with cloths, using only brooms to sweep off the water-leaving so much water on the floor, and the very soft pine plank of which the floor was laid, and it drinking in so much of the water-and the floor scarcely, if at all, drying off before wet again, I took a deep cold that led to a very hard cough which troubled me much. However, passing by many occurrences until our second Sunday in prison came, I felt quite feeble in body, owing to my heavy cough, as above. But when the hour came for preaching to the prisoners that yet remained, seated as best we could, we read a hymn, then sung praise to our covenant God for His goodness toward us; after which I bowed beside the little piece of table where I had stood to line off the hymn, and struggled in prayer to God for His preserving care over us poor sinners-for the love and compassion of a kind and heavenly Father to rest upon us, and that God would have mercy on our rulers and those in authority and that have rule over us; and that the blessed God would turn the hearts of our rulers, as He doth the rivers and streams, withersoever He would; that we might lead a peaceable and quiet life all godliness and honesty, &e.; after which I made another effort to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ to the little group of prisoners and soldiers, with, as before, some of their officers present. One of the officers who set in the door of the prison, with eyes fastened on me as I spake during the sermon-how far God made the same a blessing to him, if at all, God knoweth. But one thing I still remember; I, for the time being, little thought of being in prison. The Lord, as I trust, on that occasion gave me a spirit of love to God, His blessed gospel and the dear little congregation, with deep solicitude for their well-being, not only for the time-being, but also for their well-being in eternity; that the Lord, by His spirit, would quicken or circumcise their poor hearts and fit them for the service of God here and His everlasting enjoyment in heaven, where the weary are at rest and the wicked cease from troubling.
Also I trust the blessed God, in whom I do believe gave to me the spirit of utterance that I should that day proclaim the good tidings of salvation through a crucified and risen Jesus, so that blessed 14th of August was a blessed day to me; a day long to be remembered by me, whether it is yet remembered by any of my dear fellow-prisoners or any of the guard and soldiers or not.
And farther, there yet is a lingering hope still occupying my bosom that God did and yet will make the administration of his word on that day a blessing to some of the dear hearers. For, under all the circumstances surrounding us that day, and the uncommon attention and appearance of all seemed to lead me forcibly to the conclusion that the Lord was in our midst while speaking and hearing. I remember I was lead out to address the soldiers and guard, and that personally showing that they too must be born again or never see the face of God in peace; that they too as well as us, were sinners of Adam's family, and that as such they should repent and turn to God and do works meet for repentance; for, without which the Master hath said of all such, that if ye die in your sins, whither I go ye can not come, hence, be no longer deceived with the vain thought that it is time enough yet to turn to God, for he hath said we shall love the Lord our God with all our soul and all our mind and all our heart;, and our neighbor as ourselves. O think, dear congregation, have you obeyed God and your neighbor as yourself; yes, whether we will or wilt not, or whether we can or can not repent and turn to God. O, is there any under the sound of my voice this blessed day that feels in their soul, I would but could not repent though I endeavor often; this stony heart will never relent till Jesus makes it soft. Dear soul, if such your feelings are, be advised by one that wishes you well. O hear what the spirit of God hath declared of one Jesus: "Him hath God exalted with his right; hand to be a Prince and a Savior, for to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins." This blessed exaltation with God's right hand and the object of such exaltation is, that every trembling soul who would but can not repent might look to this exalted Prince and Savior, who has to give all that a perishing sinner needs in the midst of his cry-I would but can't repent, though I endeavor often. And for your encouragement no such perishing sinner has ever been refused or turned away from this Prince without the blessed gift of repentance.
And more, He (Jesus), the Prince is also a Savior for poor, ready to perish sinners, as well as a Prince to give them repentance; and then the writer of the Acts of the Apostles says: "And we are his witnesses of these things, and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him;" 31st and 32nd Verses of 5th Chapter of Acts.
No sinner can have any excuse to offer lawfully before man, much less before God, seeing it is so plain, for in the 32nd verse the writer of the Acts of the Apostles declares we (the apostles) are witnesses of these things, the great things of Jesus, exalted to be a Prince and a Savior to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sin; two of the great things so needful to poor and already perishing sinners.
Thus, while the writer was thus engaged, he addressed himself, especially to the soldiers, exhorting them to do violence to no man, obey your officers so placed over you, and to be content with your wages, accuse no man falsely; we can only ask you to do as your poor speaker does this day-love them that evilly treat you and spitefully use you; for if I love you not, God knoweth. For I do not only love these, my fellow-prisoners, but you officers and soldiers; before God I lie not; for you have made prayer and for all everywhere that know the plague of their own hearts. So that if I should no more address you, dear congregation, as I have this day in the fear of God, may the blessing of God rest upon you all-amen.
That evening late I was notified to appear before the commandant at head-quarters. On my appearance there, in the presence of the officers the clerk read and then handed me my discharge from prison, Barracks No. 1. It was a discharge without any condition in it, nor was there at any time from the first moment of my arrest until my release, as written out and signed by General Burbridge, and placed in my possession; any charge of any kind brought or preferred against me, nor any effort or threat to have me sworn, as had been practiced elsewhere. This unconditional release was obtained by a Doctor Cartersnell, of Owen County, Kentucky, without my knowledge. The doctor was at that time the Acting Marshal at Owenton, the county-seat of Owen County. The doctor had before the war waited on two of our sick sons, and had been acquainted with me for many years, from some cause known only now to God, for he was shortly afterward shot and died immediately, by one of his own party, under some altercation between them. I only have my own opinion why it was that the doctor took time and pains, as well at some expense to go to Lexington and lay or state my case to General Burbridge, and ask him to write for me and sign it an unconditional release from the prison or Barracks No. 1, and did, under the plea laid before General Burbridge, that I was an old man and not, a politician, nor in anywise a disturber or meddler in the then existing strife, and that holding as well as arresting me, a man of such advanced age, and one that was a minister to and for the Church of Christ, Old Baptists, at Williamstown; a Church with him; their pastor that had all the way along attended to their own business, and that he knew that was my character, and that holding me, and the whole matter of my arrest, and taking and placing me in the barracks, and thus defined a prisoner, had and would operate against the Union party more and do us harm.
Under such plea in substance, he, Doctor Snell, obtained my release, for the doctor came to the barracks and to the bunk where I was sitting, coughing hard, just after sermon, for it was the 14th day of August, 1864; and there told me what he had done for me, and in the manner above named, and that my release would be on that evening or next morning.
It will no doubt seem strange to the reader when I tell them the truth, at the news of my release, in the place of over-joy and gladness, I felt rather sad; some feeling of unwillingness to leave the prisoners behind, whom I loved, and to part with those soldiers and guards, I first thought, as it was late, I would lodge at least one night more with them in the barracks; they said no, I had best leave that evening, late as it was, cross to the other side of the Ohio River, and take rail that night to Cincinnati, as I could reach there early next morning. I took the advice, left them reluctantly, while I know I then felt, that; had a release come for us all unconditional, to leave the barracks at once, I should have been glad in the extreme, perhaps would have acted frantic; my mind in that respect has undergone no change, for I then felt and yet feel that as far as I then knew or since have known, there was no more lawful ground for their arrest than there was for my arrest. At no time to my knowledge was any of them called to trial, nor was there any charge preferred under either civil or military rule against any of us prisoners.
And likely, my reader will be more astonished still when he learns from this, that I had no more trouble in leaving Jacob S. Conrad behind than I had in leaving the rest of the prisoners. I acknowledge to the reader that it looks and seems strange to myself yet, but then I can not give any better solution of' the maitre' than this; that love I had contracted toward my fellow-prisoners reached along until it rested also on the guards and to the poor soldier, and before I became aware of it I scarce, if at all, knew that. my son was any nearer to me than those prisoners. It is true, the Lord knoweth all about it; but it seems to me this must be the loving our neighbor as ourselves, our neighbor as our child.
I had a bad night's travel amid a car crowded with soldiers, wild and noisy, and without a seat except a scat on the floor in a corner of the car, with my back to lean only against the rude as well as hard stove, so that I occasionally fell into a doze, owing to the rough track of railing. I got many jolts, or as I thought, blows of my head against the stove; but reaching Cincinnati on the morning of the 15th of August, I was quite early freed from my very unpleasant travel and berth on the cars, crawled out of the cars, with my heavy satchel of clothes in one hand and a blanket in the other. My load seemed heavy to me in my fatigued condition of body, and stopping along the streets and resting where I could, I made my way as best I could over into Covington City. I had gone but a short distance when I met with Mr. James Hutcheson, who kindly took and carried for me my heaviest budget, as I followed along through the City of Covington to the Drovers' Inn, there obtained breakfast, and quite soon after learned that two of my sons, W. G. Conrad and Esau H. Conrad, was in Covington. It was but a short time until I came across them and found that they had gotten that. hr on and expected to reach the City of Louisville that evening on the rail boat to buy me out of prison. I quickly told them that had they reached Louisville before I left they could not have bought me out. of prison with my consent, for I was fully convinced the whole matter of our arrest was a scheme by which to extract or obtain the money of quiet and unoffending citizens from different counties; and that too put on foot and executed under the order of and for the filling of the pockets of General Burbridge and others of lower rank in office-as low down as Colonel Monday, whom I knew when quite a youth, who, in person, came into our barracks more than once, using all his influence to cause us prisoners to shell out the greenbacks that they might gulp it up. This course of procedure too was winked at by the commandant and his associates at our head-quarters at Louisville, located quite near our prison, Barracks No. 1-in fact nearly or quite joining to our prison.
After which conversation with these two sons, Wm. O. Conrad and myself left in his buggy for home (Esau H. Conrad went on to attend to some business he had at Louisville), and reached my old homestead; found my old and sorrowing wife, the companion of my youth, in near her usual health of body, whose sorrow was turned to gladness as she discovered my near approach; but finding that her second son. Jacob S. Conrad, was left behind in prison, she could but feel sorrowful. I endeavored to have her feel cheerful, as I felt sure all would be well, and so it turned out; for in a few weeks, he paid out for an indefinite release $250, some eight or ten of the prisoners made up a club of it, each paying in proportion to what he was worth, and raised the sum of $1,200, for which they were released from prison, with leave to pass by their homes, stay one night, and then make their way in haste to some one et the States beyond the bordering States (joining Kentucky) and there to abide, exiles at the discretion of the military authorities, be the time long or short. The above stir up to pay was brought about in a great degree by the officers, who, waiting for the greenback suborned men, and those men, some who claimed to be professional men of high standing, who came into the barracks morning a2er morning, as well as some evenings, and told us prisoners of our doleful state, and that in a few days we were to be moved hr away to an exceedingly hot and sickly clime-this they done for a time before I came away from prison-which, by their Siren cry, produced great fear about their condition but had rather died down. After I left these whining creatures, as I learned from those released after me, became more and more earnest in their entreaties in teasing the prisoners to pay out, rather than be sent away, and so no more return to their own families again, and so produced so great a panic that mostly all that had money paid out.
About this time, there was rumor quite rife that the officers fell out or differed about the division of the greenbacks wrung from the prisoners in Barracks No. l, whether true in part or in whole, about the officers falling out in the division, I do not pretend to say, but know such was rumor or news then current.
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