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Life and Travels of William Conrad
Chapter XXIII - The Writer's Confession, Lamentation, and Prayer for Zion
In my lamentation and prayer for our beloved Zion, the writer is frank to own that he should be dumb and not able to open his mouth, or speak out to God in prayer and lamentation in behalf of our beloved Zion, was it not that our God is of great mercy and slow to anger; who forgiveth iniquity, transgression and sin; and that he knows of the mercy of God manifested alt the way along which the Lord brought him from the city of destruction, from the horrible pit, even from the depths of hell, a brand plucked from the fire. Yes: the writer feels assured that God's mercy endureth forever, and before God, yet lives to testify that for near sixty years he has seen and realized of the patience, long suffering and mercy of our covenant God, whose mercies toward him, the chiefest sinner His goodness and kind compassion fail not, so deeply impressed in his soul of the unchangeable love of God in Christ Jesus, that he feels to know that whom the Lord loveth He loveth to the end; that His love is great, it is high as heaven above, resting on His love, His gift to His Son Jesus Christ, and such will ever be; for God is love; and yet He is a God near by, ever gracious to them that obey Him. And then add to that the unnumbered instances of God's mercy, forgiveness, pardon and much long suffering, as well as gracious dealing with and toward His erring people-Israel recorded in the Old Testament. And bearing in mind the many guilty departures of' God's national Israel, placed by the inspired writers in Old Testament also, as well the untold instances of blunders and wrongs not recorded, for God hath said they do always err; hence who can count their errors and wrongs committed?
Here let us pause, to gaze, wonder and admire the wondrous mercy of a prayer-hearing and sin-pardoning God, in meting out to His back-sliding Israel mercy, pardon, long-suffering and forgiveness of sins, under the First Testament, or covenant.
Now, of the many instances recorded of God's own description given of His national Zion, we will only mention one, and that one described by the Prophet Isaiah, in the which God shows plainly, in "vision of Isaiah, the son of Amos, which he saw concerning Judahhh and Jerusalem, in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah, Kings of Judahhh." He sets out in such notable words as to call the Heavens and earth to testify of rebellion against God, thus, "Hear, O, heavens! and give ear, O earth! for the Lord hath spoken; I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me; the ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master's crib; but Israel doth not know, my people doth not consider. Ah! sinful nation; a people laden with iniquity; a seed of evil-doers, children that are corrupters! They have forsaken the Lord; they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger; they are gone away backward." And then hear, for their condition appears beyond a cure by the rod or by being stricken, for God saith, "Why should ye be stricken any more? Ye will revolt more and more; the whole head is sick, and the whole heart is faint; from the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds and bruises and putrefying sores; they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. Then speaks of their country being desolate as overthrown by strangers, "And the daughter of Zion is left as a cottage in a vineyard, as a lodge in a garden of cucumbers, as a besieged city." That so dreadful was the revolt of the Lord's Zion in the beginning or vision, or prophecy, that the Lord said, by the mouth of Isaiah, in the 9th verse of his 1st chapter, "Except the Lord of Hosts had left unto us a very small remnant, we should have been as Sodom, and we should have been like unto Gomorrah;" and in same chapter shows the witness of Judahhh and Jerusalem to be great before God although their revolt had been so great, they had gone back so far, that in their present condition of rebellion against their Covenant God, that He asks, "To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto me? saith the Lord." It was manifest, from the record of Isaiah, that such was their wickedness, their great revolt, that they thereby were shut out from the privilege of offering to the Lord burnt offerings and sacrifices; as much as to say that if offered, it would only be in form, or appearance, and hence said, "When ye come to appear before me, who hath required this at your hand, to tread my courts?" And hence they are in the next verse told to "Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and Sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meetings." So that under the first covenant, or despising Moses' law, no atonement could avail, or serve to deliver the transgressor; and in the 15th verse the Lord, by the Prophet, said to that people, in view of their iniquity, their great revolt," And when ye spread forth your hands I will hide mine eyes from you; yea, when ye make many prayers I will not hear; your hands are full of blood. That although the Lord by Isaiah tells those children whom He had nourished and brought up Judahhh and Jerusalem, his Zion, under the Old Testament, "Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do well; seek judgment; relieve the oppressed; judge the fatherless; plead for the widow." I understand such return, such redemption, such washing and making clean, such putting away the evil of their doings, such as cease to do evil and learn to do well, qualified the Jew to come again with his offerings and sacrifices to the Lord, and again to tread in the court of the Lord. But to atone by offerings and sacrifices for their past sins of revolt or rebellion, a rejecting of the Lord and his word, the dreadful national crimes that separated between them and their King, and served to exclude them from rightfully entering by their priests with offerings and sacrifices according to the law of Moses. For we know it is written, "He that despised Moses' law, died without mercy under two or three witnesses." So that the only safe and true alternative is found in our God, who will have mercy and not sacrifice, and when he shall blot out iniquity and sin for his own mercy's sake. Yes, when he will have mercy on whom he will have mercy, and compassion on whom he will have compassion. He, the true Lord, can in justice as well as mercy turn to the erring Israelite, hitherto laden with sins, and say, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." Here we behold the kind word of the Lord's bidding his wayward children "to come now," as much as to say, wait not for tomorrow, delay not, for I the Lord have called thee, and then the gracious proposal, "Let us reason together," saith thc Lord. He waits not for the erring Israelite to tell of the enormity of his guilt, his wickedness and woe, but the Lord, the high and lofty one that inhabiteth eternity, stoops down to thus reason with him who had so greatly sinned against God, and first of all saith "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow. That is to say, however dark your crimes have been, I the Lord have blotted out all their deep and scarlet stains former scarlet hue, they sins, though they be red of bloody guilt or hue, I so fully that in the place of their shall be white as snow; and your like crimson, the deep red color the Lord have so fully put away all your sins, wiped out so fully their crimson or bloody stains that they shall be as wool. While the pardoned sinner's part of the reasoning together is to wonder and admire the loving kindness and pardoning mercy of a gracious and merciful God, against whom he had so greatly sinned, and next his ear catches, gathers from the mouth of God that, safe and ever to be remembered safeguard to the Jew and also to the believing Gentile that "If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land; but if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword; for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it. Having so fully noticed the above narrative, I shall here, if the Lord will raise my Ebenezer-Hitherto the Lord hath helped me. And now while we lift up our confession and own before God and our brethren from the depths of our hearts the greatness of our sin and iniquity against the Lord of the whole earth. That we have greatly rebelled against our God, for we have rejected the Lord and his word, in that we have refused to obey the Lord to keep his commandments and statutes to do them, and thus forsook the fountain of living waters; and in the greatness of our wanderings from the Lord we have drinked in of the spirit of the world by which we have drifted away far from the old landmarks, and are so far conformed to this world that all the ways of Zion mourn, and scarcely a traveler is seen coming up thereon; and beside we have thereby shorn ourselves almost, if not altogether bare of the one living and bright shining light and marks of our once beloved Zion whom her Lord said was as a city set on a hill that can not be hid, whom he declared to be the light of the world-the beauty and joy of the whole earth.
But now few if any tangible marks of her former glory and joyful employ of worshiping God, her king and lawgiver, in the humble mansions or courts of the Lord's House, and now so hedged in with our unnumbered sins of the varied grade and character that we no longer dwell alone, but are numbered with the nations around us. And now, O our God, what shall we say more by which to make full confession of our guilt, our lofty, our high looks, our pride and arrogancy, for it seems our words and pens would all fail, after which we feel the half is not told. But sure are we that God hath surveyed all our wrongs, hath numbered all our sins. And that he hath also seen that we in the place of drinking as in the days of prosperity when the candle of the Lord shined in our midst, and we dwelt quietly seeing the smiles of God were upon us, then we drank fully and freely of that river, the streams whereof make glad the city of our God.
But now for our rebellion, we have to drink of the bitter waters of Nahor. Now oar Father in heaven, although we fail to number our sins before thee, yet we know all we are or have in the line of transgression is all open to thine all-seeing and searching eye. Here we lift our trembling eyes to the Rock, the only rock of our salvation, whose work is perfect, He fashioneth their hearts alike.
And now with our faces turned toward Zion, the city of our God, the house of his habitation, where once he delighted to make his mercy known, and to dispense his pardons to the weary and heavy laden circumcised sons and daughters, where gladness, joy, righteousness and peace in the Holy Ghost was the joy of their hearts and the boast of their tongues. But alas! the happy scene is so greatly changed to darkness and gloom that the writer here wants all who see and feel the sliding or drifting into darkness and ultimately into captivity of such grade or character as shall seem best in the sight of him who has said, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay," saith the Lord.
Yes, my brethren, the Lord hath said by Matthew, 10th chapter, 27th verse, "And then he (the son of man) shall reward every man according to his works," and all my brethren who are bowed down and afflicted; for Joseph. come, let us with one united soul and heart approach the one gracious mercy seat and bow our hearts at Jesus' feet, with our faces toward him who shall be for a glorious high throne to his father's house, and our hands on our mouths and our mouths in the dust, and utter in his ears the burden of our aching hearts in accents of prayer unto the Lord our God, and make our confession and say, "O Lord, the great and dreadful God, keeping the covenant and mercy to them that love him and to them that keep his commandments. We have sinned, and have committed iniquity, and have done wickedly, and have rebelled, even by departing from thy precepts and from thy judgments; neither have hearkened unto thy servants the prophets, the ministers of the Lord which spake in thy name to our leaders and our fathers and to all the people of the land. O Lord, righteousness belongeth unto thee; but unto us, confusion of faces, as at this day, to the men who serve us in the Gospel and to the household of faith, our beloved Zion, and unto all Israel, the inhabitants of Zion that are near and that are afar off. 0 Lord, to us belongeth con. fusion of face: to our servants, the ministers, and to our fathers, for we have sinned against thee. Yet in the midst of all our shame and confusion of face and grief of soul, because the spoiler is come upon us, and in the greatness of his power he hath pressed us sorely, so that in our extremity we remember that "To the Lord our God belong mercies and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against him. Neither have we obeyed the voice of the Lord our God, to walk in his laws, which he set before us by his servants the ministers. O our God who art merciful and gracious to the ignorant and to those that are out of the way, we still would cry unto thee to spare us, O Lord, in deserved wrath, remember mercy toward us, for we have sinned, yet all the inhabitants of Zion have transgressed thy law, even by departing, that they might not obey thy voice. Therefore the curse is poured upon us, and the oath that is written in the law of Moses, the servant of God, because we have sinned against him.
And now, O Lord our God, that has brought thy people out of Egypt, the Land of fetters and chains, and led us forth, and with a mighty and strong arm, able to save, and hast gotten unto thee renown, as at this day. We have sinned; we have done wickedly O Lord according to alt thy righteousness. We beseech thee; let thine anger and thy fury be turned away from Zion, thy holy mountain; because for our sins and for the iniquities of our fathers, Zion and thy people are become a reproach to all that are about us.
Now, therefore, O our God, hear the prayer of thy servants and their supplications, and cause thy face to shine upon thy sanctuary that is desolate for the Lord's sake. O Lord pity us in our forlorn and low estate, for we are as a city forsaken and are had in derision by all that pass by, for our harps are on the willows hung.
Few are the songs now sung in our beloved Zion-songs of joy and melody-when our beloved people meet in their assemblies. They are now seldom heard any more within her desecrated walls.
O, our God, we have read in thy word how thou didst deal with thine Israel of old, thy Zion, under the old covenant or law of Moses; how that when their sins were so great of such dark and guilty stains of rebellion and rejection of thee and of thy word; that their sins were so great, and many that they separated between them and thee; that their iniquities and their sins shut them out of thy house; that they could not tread in thy Court, and that thou, Lord, would not away with their offerings and sacrifices; that thou didst say to thine Israel: "When ye come to appear heft, re me, who hath required this at your hand to tread thy courts, and that they should bring no more vain oblations unto thee; that their incense was an abomination unto thee; and moreover, O Lord, thou didst say by the Prophet Isaiah: "Ah, sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evil-doers, children that are corrupters, they have forsaken the Lord-they have provoked the holy one of Israel unto anger, they have gone away backward." And, besides all this O Lord, thou didst show that their iniquity was almost if not altogether without a parallel. In that thou didst say unto them: "Why should ye be stricken any more?" Ye will revolt more and more. The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. O Lord, we know that if their whole head is sick and their whole heart faint, and from the sole of the foot even unto the head, their is no soundness in it but wounds and bruises and putrefying sores that have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment.
Therefore, O Lord, it seems to us that thine ancient people in the days of thy servant, the Prophet Isaiah, had so far revolted from thee, that there was no redemption-no atonement for their guilty crimes at their command; that their whole head was sick and whole heart faint, etc.
As above, they were in themselves powerless, and with all their revolt so great, that they could not appear before thee, against whom they had so greatly sinned and done evil in thy sight. And moreover, as thou, Lord, said why should they be stricken (or chastened) any more, for they will revolt more and more, so that they were shut out from temple privilege and representation by their priests in the offerings and sacrifices and the burning of incense in their behalf by the priests.
Thus, O Lord, so wretched, so guilty, so far off, and in the meantime thine anger kindled, no acceptable avenue of approach unto thee in heaven above or in earth beneath for this revolting people laden with sins-children that are corrupters.
Here O Lord, we fed, we do see in thee and thee alone the only channel or avenue of escape for thine Israel under the first covenant or law of Moses. O glorious channel, Lord help us in the espial here to raise our Ebenezer. Hitherto the Lord hath helped us; we see in the channel of thy mercy O Lord, as recorded by thy servant Moses in his second book Exodus, 34th Chapter, which was announced under such solemnities as was not before, and we feel never will he again. Moses went up to Mount Sinai early in the morning as thou, Lord, commanded him, with the two tables of stone in his hand. And here, O Lord, our hearts faint within us while we contemplate the awful descent; and the Lord descended in a cloud and stood with him (Moses) there, and proclaimed the name of the Lord.
And here O Lord, in deepest humility we acknowledge thee the rightful proclaimer of thy holy name. Help us O our Lord, while we in this dark, this late and cloudy day; read thine own announcement of thy high and holy name that is above every name in heaven above and in earth beneath. And the Lord passed by before him (Moses with the two tables of stone in his hand) and proclaimed: The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth; keeping mercy for thousands; forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty. Herein gracious Lord, we have thy ever blessed name given as fully at least as recorded in any one record of thine both old and new testaments.
Thus, O Lord, thy name as declared from Sinai's Mount by thy awful voice as thou did pass by Moses, thy servant, standing with the two tables of stone in his hand on Mount Sinai, and just before thou didst write on the second tables of stone the words of the covenants the ten commandments.
And thou, Lord, against whom we sinned all along the journey of life thus far with our hoes toward thine holy habitation still to implore thy pardoning mercy in this, our day of sorrow and lamentation, because we have rebelled against the Lord. Yet, as we call over thy dreadful name proclaimed before thy servant Moses on Mount Sinai in thine own almighty voice: The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and will by no means clear the guilty.
O Lord, in thy glorious name we behold associated the words and sentiments so cheering to the burdened transgressor, merciful and gracious, long suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands; and, O those blessed words-also forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin; so that, in this all glorious and ever to-be-reverenced name, composed of associations so becoming thee, the God of salvation, the sinners only help. And as thou God, the living and the true God did say to thy servant Moses "I will make all my goodness pass before thee and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before thee, thee, and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.
And now O Lord be not angry with us when we approach thee in any and all the parts of thine adorable and glorious name proclaimed thee as thou didst pass before Moses thy servant.
Now therefore, O Lord, our only help, as thou didst pity and blot out the sins of thy people, Israel, in the days of thy servant, the prophet Isaiah, when their sins and iniquities had shut them out from temple privilege and from any atonement that thou, Lord, would accept at their hands or at the hands of their priests, so that without thy mercy displayed in blotting out their sins, thy wrath would have been poured out upon them even unto death, but glory, praise, power, and dominion unto our God be ascribed forever and ever. For, while it is found proclaimed as alike glorious and God honoring, it was in alike manner associated as well as proclaimed a component part of thy holy name thus: "And will by no means clear the guilty." And thou our standard, our ensign, did also proclaim before Moses on Mount Sinai' "And will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy."
O Lord, this high, right power of thine, to assert thy purposes of being gracious to whom thou wouldst and show mercy to whom thou wouldst, and that too before writing upon the tables of stone the words of the covenant-the ten commandments. All of which O gracious God, we in our hearts feel and with our mouths confess, belongeth to thee, and parts of thy ways as well as parts of thy name.
And now, our prayer-hearing and sin-pardoning God, although our sins are past our numbering and of darkest stain, and have reached to heaven, and while we own thou Lord hast borne long with us, and endured with much long suffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction. Yet for thine own mercies' sake, O for thy great names' sake, stoop down to behold our guilt, our wretchedness and woe. And as thou O Lord did pity thine erring Israel in the days of Isaiah, thy servant, O Lord. in these dark and gloomy as well as sorrowful days, O remember thy covenant people, for they have greatly erred and departed from the fountain of living waters; we have forsaken the old paths gone after strange Gods and left off to follow after righteousness, and are gone far away from the old land-marks. O Lord hear our confession of vileness and our guilty departures, and forget not our lamentation over all our transgressions and sin; our forlorn and helpless condition seeing the frown of the Lord is upon us, because we have rebelled against the Lord and against his Christ, and have left off to obey him and to keep his laws and statutes to do them. O Lord, shame and confusion of face belong to us this day; but thou art righteous in all thy ways. O Lord allow our faint and feeble cry to reach unto thy gracious ear, and thy pity flow this day toward thy erring Israel, even in this nineteenth century. O, our God, do thou in the dark day make thy mercy known and blot out sins, our iniquities, for thine own mercies' sake, even because thou wilt have mercy on whom thou will have mercy and compassion on whom thou will have compassion. For gracious God thou knowest that our iniquity and sin hath shut us out also as did the sins of thine ancient Israel; we feel that our hope of seeing the smiles of our covenant God is clean gone, for our sins and out perpetual revolting and disregard of thy word has closed every channel through which thy rich mercy can flow to us back slidden children; and while our sins separate between us and thee, that in our attempts by prayer to draw nigh to thee, they seem to us so few and faint, that while our sins crowd around us, the question comes up in our hearts-will the righteous Lord hear our prayer, our faint petition?
O Lord, A remembrance of thy gracious dealings toward us from day to day, and from night to night, and more, for thou, Lord, didst in past times lift up thy voice to call unto us to forsake our idols and return unto thee Lord, who would have mercy, and to God, who will abundantly pardon, and, lo! we heeded not thy call, and thou didst stretch out thy hand all the day long unto us, a wicked and gainsaying people, and we regarded it not. And still more, thou. Lord didst raise up and send to us thy servants, rising up early and setting up late proclaiming thy laws and commandments to do them, to walk in those good works to which we were created in Christ Jesus and ordained of God that we should walk in them. And beside all this, thou didst give us line upon line and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.
O Lord, we need not further try to enumerate or mention the countless marks of thy great mercy and forbearance toward us, for we cannot count, them. Yet, O Lord, to our great shame and confusion of face, we have not heeded thy gracious reproofs, thereby have added sin to sin. And now, O Lord, how can we hope for thy mercy and compassion to be extended to us. While we remember that thou didst say to thine Israel under the old covenant under a like condition of disregard or revolt, that when they should call unto thee in their great distress, that thou wouldst not hear them. That thy bowels of compassion should not reach unto them, but that thou wouldst laugh at their calamities and mock when their fear cometh. We on our part are brought to a pause. Our mouths are shut and we are as a people dumb before our God; but know of a truth that salvation is of the Lord, and in our extremity our hearts cry out in the depths of our anguish of soul: Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.
O our father and our God, help all of us who do mourn and lament for the desolations of our beloved Zion. O help us in our hearts to feel and be under the influence of that humble spirit of confession with thy servant Ezra, the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, who in his day of sorrow and confession of the sins of his people, Israel, when he had rent his garment and mantle. So may the weeping children of our God, in this our day of calamities and sorrow for our sins, part with or rend our garments and mantles, and like Ezra the priest, fall on our knees and spread out our hands unto the Lord our God, and say, "O our God, we are ashamed and blush to lift up our face to thee, our God, for our iniquities are increased over our heads, and our trespasses is grown up unto the heavens. Since the days of our fathers have we been in a great trespass unto this day, and for our iniquities have we, our ministers and leaders, been delivered into captivity, and to a spoil and to confusion of face this day."
And surely our soul's desire and prayer is that with a voice as recorded by Jeremiah the prophet, so may there be heard in our midst "a voice upon the high places weeping, and supplications of the children of Israel (our beloved Zion) in their low state, for they have perverted their way and they have forgotten the Lord, their God."
O Lord, our God, wilt thou let us hear; let us in this our day of lamentation and prayer, hear thy gracious voice speak the peaceful words to our sunk down hearts as by the mouth of the prophet, "Return ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings." And then, O Lord, grant thy spirit's gracious powers to stir the hearts; the drowsy powers of thy Zion to respond in a broken and contrite heart, saying, "Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the Lord our God. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountains. Truly, in the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel. (Jeremiah, 3rd chapter, 22nd and 23rd verses.)
O our God, shall we lie down in our shame and our confusion cover us, seeing we have so sinned against the Lord our God? yes; we and our fathers from our youth even unto this day, and have not obeyed the voice of the Lord our God. Now, O Lord, should it seem good to thee to speak to us as thou didst to thy erring people by the servant Jeremiah, and say, "Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this, and be ye horribly afraid; be ye very desolate, saith the Lord, for my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water." And Say also to us as he said to his ancient Israel, "Is Israel a servant? Is he a home-born slave? Why is he spoiled?" And then add, saying, "Hast thou not proclaimed this great evil unto thyself; in that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God when ho led thee by the way? And now what hast thou to do in the way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in the way of Assyria, to drink the waters of the river?
Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee. Know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter that thou hast forsaken the thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the God of hosts. For of old time have I broken thy yoke and burst thy bands, and thou saidst, I will not transgress, when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the harlot, yet had I planted thee a noble vine, wholly a right seed. How then art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me. For though thou wash thee with nitre, and take much soap, yet thine iniquity is marked before me, saith the Lord God. How canst thou say I am not polluted; I have not gone after Baalim; see thy way in the valley; know what thou hast done; thou art a swift dromedary traversing her ways; a wild ass used to the wilderness, that snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure; in her occasion who can turn her away; all they that seek her will not weary themselves in her month, they shall find her."
O thou Lord our God that trieth the hearts of thy creature man, O do thou incline thy gracious ear and hear our confession which we would make in the depths of humility before thee our God, for in our souls we feel that our trespasses are more in number than all we have mentioned above, and of deepest hue and scarlet color; that while we remember as we have read thine own description of thy erring Israel anciently, as mentioned in the above pages. We own it is in our judgment but as a type or shadow of the magnitude of our guilt, transgression and sin.
O Lord, the greatness of our wanderings we poor finite worms can not give or frame to tell as thou God seest our sins and iniquities are. Hence we feel it would be just and righteous in thee our God to feed us with wormwood and give us the water of gall to drink all the days of our pilgrimage on earth. And after death (aside from the mediation of Jesus) to bear the wrath and indignation of a sin-avenging God forever and ever, because we have forsaken the law of the Lord which he set before us, and have not obeyed his voice, neither walked therein. But we have walked after the imagination of our own heart and after Baalim, which our fathers taught us.
O our God, stir, touch and tender our hard, our stony hearts, and shine therein, that we may see clearly the evil of rebellion and sin against the Lord and his law, that we may not only blush with shame and confusion of face, but a voice of wailing be heard in our midst; a cry, how we are spoiled! how greatly we are confounded! because we have forsaken the Lord and abode not in his tabernacle, to obey his voice and keep his statutes.
O for that spirit to dwell in our Zion richly, that in our hearts would get up the cry and say, "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might. Let not the rich man glory in his riches. But let him that gloryeth glory in this that he understandeth and knoweth me. That I am the Lord which exercise loving kindness, judgment and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, saith the Lord." Jeremiah, chapter 9, verse 23 and 24.
How long O Lord, until we in the midst of our shame and contusion of face shall see that all our glorying in the wisdom of this world in all its vanities and pride is of the world, for John saith: "The lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father, but is of the world, and the world passeth away, and the lust thereof; but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever." So that all glorying outside of that glorying of the children of God that understandeth and knoweth him, who saith I am the Lord which exercise loving kindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight saith the Lord. O how vain is all glorying in all and everything else under the sun. O Lord, we pray thee to give of thy holy spirit to the household of faith, our beloved Zion, that we may see and understand that to glory in any and all things else except in our Lord Jesus Christ is vain and less than vanity, because it is of the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-all which is not of the Father, but is of the world and the world passeth away, and the lusts thereof.
Then to glory, to be glad, and rejoice in any or all besides is rebellion and a rejection of Israel's God; for he hath said to his circumcised: Ye are not your own, for ye are bought with a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and spirit, which is the Lord's, aside from which service Great God we confess is idolatry, for stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. It is that dreadful trespass that follows the rejection of the Lord and his word. It is that of casting his word behind, us that We may serve the flesh in the lusts thereof, by which course we incur justly the frown of God and the chastenings of our God, who will give to every man according to his works.
O Lord we pray thee to teach us. O give our beloved Zion to see that it is a fearful thing for us to fall into the hands of the living God when he shall deal out to us of judgments for our sins; for our God is a consuming fire. 0 for wisdom from above to see and know, and in our hearts feel that all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass; the grass withereth and the flower thereof falleth away, but the word of the Lord endureth forever.
O that we all did but see and feel in our souls the force, the deep interest, as well as comfort involved in Peter's next record: "And this is the word which by the Gospel is preached unto you"-that is to say this word-this is the Jesus which by the Gospel is preached unto you; yes, that God vailed in flesh, called in the Scriptures the Father's beloved son, in whom he is well pleased, and did declare we should hear him (Jesus), which the writer to the Hebrews said: How shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation, which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord (the word of the Lord that endureth forever) and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him-the word-and this is the word thee, Jesus, which by the Gospel is preached unto you.
And, besides this, we still bear in mind the many instances in which thou, the Father of all our mercies did say of Jesus: "This is my Son in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him." And thou, our Father, and our God knowest that en that high mountain, while Jesus, the word of God was transfigured before Peter, James, and John, in the presence of Moses and Elias, that Peter answered and said unto Jesus: Lord it is good for us to be here; if thou would, let us make here three tabernacles-one for thee, one for Moses, and one for Elias; while he (Peter) yet spake, behold, a bright, cloud overshadowed them, and behold a voice out of the cloud which said: This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased-hear ye him.
O, our Father, may we, thy poor backsliding Israel hear that voice out of the cloud, that bright cloud, and have the blessed effects on us as the voice from the cloud had on Peter, James, and John, for when the disciples heard it (the voice) they fell on their face and were sore afraid. And then when the blessed Jesus came and touched them and said: "Arise and be not afraid."
O that the Lord would in this dark day make his power in mercy known to us, so that we with Peter in his first Epistle to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father through sanctification of the spirit unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ; grace unto you and peace be multiplied. And that we, poor dusts, might indulge in an humble hope that we were by the Holy Ghost in Peter's address to the strangers scattered throughout those five different climes or sections of country, represented or associated as Peter's address in our judgment from the manner written out, was designed as an address to the Church of God. And so to be regarded down to the present, this nineteenth century, and to be regarded an address to the pilgrims and strangers through all time, and the great point and object of the spirit of inspiration was that they should however be holy and without blame before him in love, elect or chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father through sanctification or setting apart of the spirit unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ.
O the one lovely great and God honoring point unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ. O our God, the lack of this great God honoring and God glorifying sanctification of the spirit unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ embraces the ground of our deep and degrading humiliation before the Lord and in sight of each other, and before the world, our revolt, our perpetual back-sliding, our rebellion, all of which hath shut us out from the smiles and blessings of the Lord our God; we have disobeyed and refused to keep the Commandments of our God. O that we had obeyed his gracious voice, and under the reading or hearing of his voice proclaimed by his faithful ministry, saying, he that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me, and he that loveth me shall be loved of my father, and I will love him and will manifest myself unto him; and the many instances when the gracious voice of Jesus reached our inmost souls saying, follow me; and when we read Jesus words to his disciples, or heard them proclaimed, saying: "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me; for whosoever will save his life shall lose it, and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."
Truly O Lord, although no bright cloud perceivable to us did then overshadow us, nor an audible voice out of a cloud did reach our ears, saying: "This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased-hear ye him." But the mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, did as we trust in the day of his power, speak to us by his mighty power and bid our sorrows cease at the sound of that still small voice of Jesus pardoning love, touched and spread abroad throughout our souls by the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ, when Jesus bid us arise and be not afraid. Then, O Lord, thy lovely voice was the joy of our hearts and the boast of our tongues to tell of his wondrous love to us, the chief of sinners, and how he sought us out and made known to us our guilt, our wretchedness and woe, and put his cry into our hearts for mercy, for pardon of our sins, and from condemnation and death.
O, our God, when we heard thy lovely voice but whisper in our hearts, saying follow me (Jesus), then our willing souls did quickly respond in as we then thought our best effort to follow thee, our Saviour and our leader in all thine ordinances, and to dwell in thy house forever.
For a time we rejoiced in thy great salvation; we then did surely enjoy that rest that remaineth to the people of God. And, as we had entered into his rest we also ceased from our own works as God did from his; and for a time by our walk and conduct said: Let us labor therefore to enter into that rest lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. And, after all great God, we have come short, for in the place of entering into his rest we fail.
And, O our God, now in this, our day of calamity, our day of darkness and confusion of face, for fears have overtaken us that thou hast sworn in thy wrath, if we shall enter into thy rest-that blessed peace which passeth understanding; that rest of God secured to as well as enjoyed by the Church of God here below, while they walk in those good works to which they were created and which our God hath before ordained, we should walk in them, although the works, those good works thou, our God, hath ordained that we should walk in them were finished from the foundation of the world.
And now, our God, we would say as thy servant did anciently: "Wherefore doth a living man complain a man for the punishment of his sins." O that the spirit of our God would lead us to search and try our ways and turn again to the Lord; let us lift our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens, for we have transgressed and rebelled. Remember O Lord what is come upon us, consider and behold our reproach.
And now, thou God of our fathers, the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, what more shall we say by which we can make a more full and frank confession of our sins, for we feel that after all we have offered before our God of our iniquities, sin, and transgressions.
O Lord, what shame and confusion of face we feel before thee while we own and while we write down in these words: Lo, the half hath not been told; we can not tell their number nor measure out before our God, the magnitude, the enormity, and more, the dreadful demerit of all our iniquity, transgression, and sins, as they are numbered and written in our father's record or memory of him who bore our sins in his own body on the tree. There, on Calvary only can we have a faint view of sins' dread demerit, and how abhorrent before God those guilty sins.
O, our God, for which there was no atonement, no redemption, no satisfaction short of the blood of thee, our God, purchased by thy blood while veiled in flesh-our Jesus, born of the Virgin Mary, who on the Roman cross poured out his precious blood on Calvary, said it was finished, bowed his head and gave up the ghost.
O Lord, our God, here in thy wondrous stoop from heaven to earth, and amid untold pain and anguish of soul to suffer the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God-all this, and more, that by thy strong arm poor sinners were plucked as brands from the fire.
O to bear in mind the bitter, the dreadful cup of wrath, sins awful demerit, our Jesus drank in our stead. O the terrible sorrows, and anguish on the Mount of Olives, Gethsemane; all this and much more seem enough to melt our poor hearts and bring our beloved Zion to pause before we further go.
O, our God, give us grace to see our wretchedness and woe. O, our God, has repentance forever fled from cur hearts. 0 for our hearts once more to feel and recount over and over the sorrows of our Emanuel God, and once more to weep at Jesus' cross and at his lovely feet under the benign influences of the spirit of our God sin and hear his words of peace:
"Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest; take my yoke upon you and learn of met for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest unto your souls; for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
O Lord our God, may we not hope there is yet a few names in Sardis which have not defiled their garments, and shall walk with thee in white, for they are worthy. And if so that there is yet a few, O Lord, of thy living people in our beloved Zion, they feel and know that true peace and rest is not found in this sorrowful vale where we dwell only, as we shall hear Jesus' voice and follow him as above; to take his yoke upon us and learn of Jesus day after day, and drink in that meek and lowly spirit in heart, and so find rest unto their souls.
O Lord, we know thy yoke is easy and thy burden light; and above all this no other spirit but thine will lead us to Jesus' feet, and there abide, still hearing Jesus' voice. saying: "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
O Lord, our only help, do thou stir up thy living people that yet remain in Zion. 0 bid them to awake from their long slumber, and say to their leaders, their ministers: "Blow ye the trumpet in Zion and sound an alarm in my holy mountain; let all the inhabitants of the land tremble, for the day of the Lord cometh, for it is nigh at hand-a day of dreariness, and of gloominess; a day of clouds and of thick darkness as the morning spread on the mountains;" Joel, 2nd Chapter and 1st verse.
O Lord may it seem good in thy sight to put thy spirit into the hearts of them to whom thou hast, and may appear unto them to make ministers and witnesses of the things they have seen and of the things in which thou, Lord, would appear unto them; that they may lift up their voice; that they cry aloud-spare not; lift up their voice like a trumpet, and show thy people their transgression and the house of Jacob their sins.
Now, our God, be thou not angry with us because of our much prayer and lamentation before thee for and in behalf of our beloved Zion.
O Lord, we still know there is no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. Ah, we know thy servant anciently spake truth when he said: "Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountains; truly in the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel; truly our complaint is would commit ourselves in the midst of all our shame and confusion of face as at this day, bearing in mind all the way along that thou, Lord, art gracious, keeping mercy for thousands that call upon thy name, in view of which may we yet hope, O our God, that thy poor back-sliding Zion will by their life, their walk, their parting with all their idols and vanities say: Behold, we come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our God.
And, as thou, Lord, hast said: It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. And all our hope for pardon of our iniquity, transgression, and sin is in thee, our God; that in thy great mercy still in keeping for thousands, thou wouldst look from heaven, thy lofty habitation, upon us, thy stricken, thy poor back-sliding people; for outside of mercies' channel, the blessed Jesus, who will have mercy and not sacrifice, without whom we still shall wander in darkness and bear our reproach, while the nations around us shall tauntingly say to us while yet under thy frown: where is thy God? And though our God tarry long and withhold his helping and strong arm of deliverance, yet will the living people of the Lord in our beloved Zion still cry to thee, our God, to spare thy erring Israel, and in the multitude of thy mercies blot out their transgression and sin for thine own namesake; amen and amen.
Next, as the writer is at least among the last now living that knows of and understands the origin and progress of the heresy introduced by Thomas P. Dudley in the year 1849, and embraced in his circular on the origin, nature, and effects of the Christian warfare; and feeling it to be his duty before God and for the well-being of the household of faith in this nineteenth century, to give at least a clue by which the reader may clearly determine for him or herself the nature and extent of the heresy set forth in said circular, the Scriptures, the word of God to the contrary, notwithstanding, of which the writer has referred to in this work before so fully.
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